Helping Her Get Free by Brewster Susan

Author:Brewster, Susan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Basic Books
Published: 2006-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

7. SHARE YOUR “SECRETS” WITH HER—If and when you are able, and it is appropriate for you to be vulnerable with the woman you care about, she will be encouraged to be vulnerable back. Rarely do people spill their guts to those who seem to have no problems of their own. Like anyone else, battered women tend to confide in people who are willing to share bits of their own less-than-perfect lives. It was when Jackie shared problems she was working on in her own marriage that Diane first began to really confide in Jackie about the abuse she was experiencing with Mike.

I am not talking here about looking to your abused friend or relative as your anchor or counselor. Nor am I talking about taking over conversations so that your problems are the primary topic of discussion. She probably has little enough energy to give to her own survival and problems, she won’t have enough to give to yours. What I am talking about here is a general acknowledgment that you have problems, too.

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